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Enjoy-Team Chinua

Starting Over

Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is to start over.  Whether it's dating, dieting, career choices or re-writing a document that you somehow forgot to save, starting over is hard. There are many different reasons we may find ourselves in this predicament. 

My particular starting over moment has to do with this runaway rollercoaster I'm on called weightloss.  

Perhaps like me you have started over so many times that you find yourself completely drained by the process.   I've gained and lost weight so many times I've actually lost count. 

The question I've been asking myself lately is why? Why do I keep putting myself in a position to have to start over? What am I doing wrong?

The answer that came to me was not an answer that I wanted to face. It's definitely not something I wanted to own as the truth. However, owning this fact is the beginning of my healing. 

 I am simply not loving myself enough.  Love is an action word. My actions toward myself are definitely not loving.  When you love something or someone you give it/them your best. How can you give yourself the best if you don't feel worthy of it?

People can give you every compliment in the world but if you don't love yourself then none of it matters. Compliments do give you a temporary stay of condemnation, but what happens when the room is silent? What happens when the curtain comes down and the auditorium is empty? What happens when you are left to face the real you? 

So tonight I looked at myself in the mirror and said "I love you and I forgive you."

Life is a beautifully complicated journey for all of us. Each challenge we face increases our strength and makes our light shine that much brighter as we move through this song called life. Tonight I gave myself permission to love myself, flaws and all. 

So I'm encouraging you as I encourage myself that this beautifully complicated journey is definitely worth the trip.  

So I'll keep moving forward one step at a time.  

Love and Peace 

Chinua Hawk

 

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Photo by: Stephen Hunton 

www.stephenhunton.com

Copyright Chinua Hawk 2017