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Doughnuts for Breakfast (Challenge Completed)

Doughnuts for Breakfast (Challenge Completed)

Don’t be alarmed. I promise no doughnuts were eaten, touched, smelled or harmed in any way.

Thirty days ago just writing the word donut would have eventually sent me searching for my keys and wallet laser focused on getting to Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts. This my friends is the reason I began this challenge. 

The Beginning

Doing this challenge of thirty days without sugar has caused me to try and pinpoint where this addiction began.

I was addicted to sugar as a small child even before I had an issue with weight.  I remember being in kindergarten class and the teacher serving us cheerios.  She sprinkled a little sugar on all of our bowls and everyone was satisfied except me.  The moment she turned her back I would grab that sugar and pour more into my bowl.  I also remembered the teachers giving us those little chocolate candies wrapped up to look like coins.  Each student received one piece of candy but once again it wasn’t enough for me.  I was caught trying to climb up on the fireplace in our classroom to get to the bag to get more.

I could go on and on about the stories that have returned to my memory about this addiction.  The thing that really got me was that even as early as four years old I knew to hide it.  Something inside me instinctually knew that it was wrong. My parents never kept a bunch of sweets or unhealthy food in the house so I had to really work hard to get the “good stuff.”  

I was totally fine with other foods.  I rarely over ate anything else but sugary things.  Sometimes I laugh when I think about friends who would say “ I never see you eat that much. I don’t understand why you have a weight problem.”  They were right.  I didn’t eat that much and I still don’t but the calories I was packing on from sugar was astonishing.

 

The Sweet Tea Incident

Ten days ago I was rushing to a meeting and I stopped by Mcdonalds to get an unsweetened tea.  “Are you sure this is unsweetened?”  I asked twice.  “Yes it is sir.”  

Satisfied with her answer I jumped onto the interstate, stuck my straw into that styrofoam cup and took a sip. As soon as it touched my tongue something was different.   There was something beautifully familiar about the taste.  I tasted it again and confirmed  that it was in fact, sweet tea. I took another sip.  My mind was racing.  I was at a crossroads and I so wanted to choose the path of least resistance. I made a decision to call my mother and she hit me with verse after verse from the Bible.   She went on to say that God has more in mind for my life than being trapped by this thing.  “You’ve got to fight baby.” She insisted that I pour it out immediately. “Can’t do that at the moment Mom, I’m on the interstate.  I promise I won’t drink another sip and will pour it out as soon as I stop.”

I kept my word to her and myself and I poured it out.

Later on that day I found myself feeling depressed and really wanting to dive head first into ANYTHING with sugar in it.  I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way again.  I had already gotten past the hardest part so why this again?  Then it all clicked.  Just the night before I posted a photo to instagram saying how easy this challenge had gotten but that I still needed to guard myself.  I had no idea that the very next morning would be the day I would unintentionally slip.

Just a few sips of something so simple like sweet tea sent me into a tail spin.  I had to decide at the end of that day if I could truly claim the day as a success.  It was a MASSIVE success.  Should I have stopped at the first sip?  Absolutely I should have stopped.  I did what any addict would do in that moment.  What I did right was to stop and call someone.  This time that person happened to be my mother and other times it has been some great friends. So yes, that day was successfully completed.

 

What I Have Learned

I have learned that avoiding the hard things in life only delays the inevitable.  There will come a time when we ALL have to deal with our issues and it will not be easy.  I went through absolute hell that first week.  Read about week one here.  http://www.chinuahawk.com/shakes-with-chinua/2014/9/20/breaking-the-chains-of-addiction

I have learned that it is okay to admit when I’m struggling and to reach out for help from friends and loved ones.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I have to be okay with not having sugar in my life.  I have never been able to handle it responsibly so I have to leave it alone.  It’s not something that my body needs anyway.  

 

The Results

This morning I am proud to say I have lost 25.8 pounds and I feel better everyday.  Although I still want all of the things I used to eat, I’m no longer controlled by them.  My stamina has increased and my singing voice is returning to full strength.  

 

What Happens Now

I will continue with the no sugar lifestyle and continue to remove more things from my diet.  I haven’t completely removed bread from my diet but I’m working on it.  One step, one day at a time.

 

The journey continues.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share with anyone that might benefit from reading my story.

 

Chinua Hawk

Follow my journey on instagram @shakeswithchinua

Copyright Chinua Hawk 2017